Chai and the City

I overheard the following on the 5 train yesterday, and it got me to thinking about those gems in our society that simply cannot grasp the unspoken nuances of social co-existence.

“I was like, why havent you talked to me in two weeks, you’re my boyfriend! And he was like ‘i told Byron to tell u we were done, i was breaking up with you’  ….BYRON? I ask , WHY IS BYRON telling me you broke up with me! And didnt he know!  Byron was going to visit his dad for a WEEK, so NO !! Byron didnt tell me!”

We all know the particular types of people I’m talking about.  They dont pick up on the context clues of the social jungle.  They lean in to speak to you, as you’re leaning out, practically running away.  They hit on your girlfriend as you stand there.  The “village idiot” as I like to call it, has absolutely no idea that a world exists outside the parameters of reality as they see it!  

I always like to use little examples for anecdotal purposes, now then, shall we?

Scenario 1) good friend brings his girlfriend to dinner, you’ve met her before, you know its serious, you :

1. Make her feel welcome
2. Discuss Current events and common friends
3. Bring up your friend’s EX girlfriend

The village idiot, will always pick 3.  Of course to mix it up, there are many things that the village idiot could do to cause this situation to go awry, including but not limited to bringing up the friend’s tawdry history of partying with the boys; the friend’s diatribes on how a woman’s place is in the kitchen, or, the village idiot could BRING the ex as his date to dinner.

Scenario 2) You have a shy mousey type coworker. Keeps mostly to him/herself. One day you decide to stop by their office to chat, and to be nice, they

1. Shut the door in your face and tell you they have too much work to do
2. Ask you to please sit, and offer you tea and coffee from the mini kitchen they’ve set up in their office to avoid running into others outside the walls of their own personal space.
3. Immediately ask you out to dinner, holding onto your casual hello as their last chance to find a mate.

Ok, perhaps this is a more difficult choice to make.  I would still pick number 3 as the choice of the village idiot, because clearly 1 and 2 are just functional hazards of his/her reclusive behavior no?

So I want to explore this storyline more, please send your personal or not so personal stories to chaiandthecity@gmail.com

Thanks!

oh p.s.  if you were wondering where i had been hiding for two weeks….its ok, dont worry i am back.